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DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on
"THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems
, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed
the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side
of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or
for us. There is no middle ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it
now, and will remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
going to the "other side." That's why they call it the
"other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments,
we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time
, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long
dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is
an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more
stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or
did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
